It's just stuff

 I am now 60 some days away from moving to the east coast.  And as one begins to seriously prepare for a move involving over 4000 kilometers, you start to look at the things that furnish your home and your perspective starts to change about 'things'.  How important certain items are to you, what you can or cannot live without, what is worth selling, or just give it away.  Luckily I'm moving in with a man whose house will be somewhat established, and he had a pretty good idea what the ex-wife took. So that makes it a bit easier as to sorting through needs and wants. As every item you look at putting into a trailer, you attach weight to it, because, as my truck driving father wisely told me from the beginning, its not necessarily about how many things you take, its how much it weighs. Because it's the weight that can make or break a load on a trip like this. 

It has also occurred to me that this clearing and packing and deciding how big of a load I'm going to carry out my new life is also rather symbolic of our other types of baggage.
Both of us coming into this marriage are grown adults; we have past relationships, past experiences both good and bad, and have just LIVED life in our own ways for the past 15-20 years.  Now we want to come together and form a cohesive existence and continue to move forward in a positive way of life for ourselves and his daughter.  So how much weight we want to haul with us into this marriage is completely up to us.  We may need to lighten our loads ourselves by forgiving, and letting go of the past, or maybe we need assistance from the Lord through repentance or making amends. Either way, the less unnecessary weight we bring into our marriage, the lighter and easier it will be to move forward.  Now neither of us expected to come to our new life completely unburdened, but we have been open and clear about what we are carrying so that we can help each other.  "(A)nd are willing to bear one another's burdens that they may be light" is a scripture associated with the covenants we as Mormons make at baptism, and I find it especially applicable to marriage. (Mosiah 18:8-10)
So as I am going through my home that has been my sanctuary from the world for the past five years I will be looking at 'things' very carefully and deciding if they will bring goodness and happiness to the next stage of my life, or if it's just gonna be another unnecessary weight in the trailer.

Yeah, the spitfire picture is coming, the piano is not.
Regardless, I'm still gonna need alot of garbage bags and boxes over the next few weeks, so if you have so to donate, feel free to drop them off!
XO Leah

Making it Really Real

Today I went wedding dress shopping with my dear friend Elaine.  Its funny, when Dave and I decided to get married, it took me days to realize that I get to go wedding dress shopping, and that I get to fullfill my little girl dreams to dress up like a princess!
The really cool part is that Elaines eldest daughter, Miss A, got to come with us, as she was home sick from school with a tummy ache.  It was amazing how much better she was feeling by the time I got to their house! (wink)  The only thing was that Miss A couldn't tell anyone where we went, since her younger sister would be completely put out with not being included in this shopping expedition.  It was really fun having Miss A there.  She is such a sweetie and had fun feeling like a princess too!

Now, before you get too excited this may or may not be the dress I chose, but I thought it was such a cute picture of Miss A and I that I had to include it!  I have to highly recommend Simply White Bridal for thier selection of affordable, modest wedding dresses.  Heidi made me feel so comfortable and asked alot of great questions before I even got to her house and had pulled out a number of dresses that she had close to my size, and the style I told her I was looking for.  I tried on maybe 6 or 8 dresses, and it was pretty easy; it was either a definite no, there was one dress that was a weak maybe, and the third one I tried on I kept going back to.  We were there about an hour and a half and I walked out with the perfect dress for me!!  I think it helped that I knew very much what I was looking for, and what I did and did not like for my body type.
Trying on wedding dresses today really made it real to me.  I mean, I KNOW that I'm going to marry Dave, but all the plans that we have made so far have been just that, plans.  Very little have actually had tangible results until today.  And a financial investment made as well! 
What was interesting today as well, was realizing how comfortable I am with me.  I gained probably 50 pounds with my MS diagnosis and early days of treatment that I've never been able to shake.  However  the older I get, the more solid I am with not just the shape and squishiness of my body, but who I am and what I want.  I was thrilled to find a dress that made me look and feel pretty, even though I'm not a size 12 anymore.  I'm so happy to have found a man who loves my curves and me, just as I am. I love that I really have come to know me, and am comfortable with me, inside and out.  I'm not sure if it only comes with age, but I think also with the solid relationships I have in my life; my family, my close friends, my work relationships, and of course, my relationship with God and Jesus Christ.  I think that all those things work together to help me to be the best me I can be and hold me to the standards and meet the challenges that I still face in life.  I'm really excited to no longer be traversing this life by myself and to have an eternal companion by my side to work with and love and for all the experiences we get to have together. 
Seems like alot of waxing philosophical about a dress, but it brings out alot of things that I've struggled with and overcome in life.  And I love wearing my little tiara while I write this! Hee Hee!!

 

How did this happen?

I guess I should tell a bit of how this all came to be!
There is much back story and side stories that go along with this miracle that I will definitely have to share, as my brain digests it and then maybe I can put it into words.
So, Dave and I met online,(Insert groan and eye roll here!) through ldslinkup which is a website for single members of my faith.  It is really important to me to marry someone of my faith, as I think it creates such a great foundation for a strong marriage and stable family life. Which is part of the reason why I've been single for so long. The topic of my singleness alone could cover a plethora of blog posts, but, I digress.
We got chatting, then texting, then phoning and skyping like crazy, as we had alot in common, and similar sense of humor and it was just so easy to talk to him.  We knew within a week that we wanted to meet sooner rather than later to see if there was chemistry, and if this long distance thing was worth pursuing.  Its crazy how technology has changed the dating world.  Even since the first time I tried internet dating about 10 years ago, it has changed and gotten better, I think.  The ability to Skype, and actually see and hear the person and their mannerisms changes things considerably. 
So, off I go to New Brunswick for a weekend about 3 weeks after we met.  It is definitely the farthest I've gone for a date, and it was the best 29 hour date I've ever had!  Don't worry, I had all my safety alerts and back up plan in place in case things got wierd!  But it was soooo not wierd!  I got off the plane, walked into the airport, saw him, and we both immediately started smiling!  He gave me a big hug, took my suitcase in his left hand and my hand in his right and it was just as it was supposed to be. 
As I climbed into the truck I met Harley, his four year old black lab, and the joke was that Harley got his first kiss in before Dave did!  Dave, however, didn't wait long, and when we stopped to let the dog(and Leah) have a pee break, we had our first kiss at Petitcodiac Irving Corner! 

I guess we could say our first 'date' was going for chicken nachos at Mexi's, in downtown St John.  Its a totally different world out there!  So many old, refurbished buildings; narrow, hilly streets and a beautiful harborfront.  Its so lovely and reminds me a bit of England, which of course, is the greatest complement I could pay!

I met his mom and dad, and his sister and brothers families that night, which was great.  I felt very welcomed and at home with them and in their ward family at church the next day.
When I left on Sunday, we both had our 'homework' to do.  There is so much to investigate when you want to even consider making such a huge move.  Work, health care, finances, selling/not selling, let alone the actual move.  And we also wanted to spend more time getting to know each other and continue talking about the important life things-work, children, church, finances, homelife, health, extended family- all things we able to cover sooner because of the long distance relationship.  All you do is talk!  Alot!
When I went out again over my reading break a month later, I think we both pretty much knew where we stood with each other and how we wanted things to progress.  It was an amazing thing to see him again and feel excited and calm and peaceful and just know that this was it.  We both knew it, and the week was spent just being together, talking out our plans, and meeting his daughter. 
I have to say, I am so excited to be her stepmother!  'Lady M' is nine years old and just an amazing, open, loving child.  She likes to take care of her dad, and makes a great breakfast!

It was really hard to leave, but much easier than the last time, since we knew that it was only a temporary separation, before we get to be together forever!  Its crazy to think that having known someone for 2 months and actually physically being together a week and a weekend that I could be so certain about such a huge decision.  So many of the major things have just fallen into place for us, which also tells me that this is right. I'm so excited for him to meet my family and friends next month and continue to take the steps towards our wedding and, more importantly, our marriage.  I am a blessed woman!

And so it begins!

I've finally joined the blogging world!
I supposed I feel like I didn't have anything really worth saying and sending out to the world.  Now I am embarking on a crazy adventure, and I think this will be a great way to document it, and to share this journey with my family and friends around the world.
I am about to do some of the most stressful things that anyone can do in their life, and I'm going to do it all in the next 4 months.
1. Moving across the country
2. Start a new job
3. Oh yeah, get married!!

Finally finding the man that I want to spend my forever with certainly eases the stressful part of the great changes in my life.  The exciting totally trumps the scary!

The other thing that I absolutely cannot deny is the impact that the Lord has had on the process and progress of this whole change in my life.  I feel so at peace and calm and content about things.  I know that this is the right choice for me and we(Dave and I) have done our research, and prayed about this decision.  Having Heaven on our side makes all the things that have to happen in the coming months that much easier and far less stressful than the world would believe. I can't wait to share my thoughts and experiences as I move from Alberta, my home of 38 years, to New Brunswick, and the Atlantic Ocean!
Stay tuned, there will be so much more to come!